Two weeks of travel through Beijing, Xian, Yunnan Provence and Shanghai PRC
“You must understand, Chuck, economically we are capitalists. Socially we remain communists. And that’s not easy to reconcile.”
We look at our guide as the three of us approach the front gate of our Tibetan hosts for the evening. It is not the first time we’ve heard sentiments such as this. During our nearly 10 days in China, multiple guides have shown us life through indigenous eyes and provided us context to Chinese thinking. We learned of generational divides where Mom cannot understand why a 30-something guide prefers to be an entrepreneur rather than wish for Chairman Mao “to provided for us and we did not have to worry about anything.” We heard of collateral fallout from 4-2-1 (4 grandparents, 2 parents and only one child), due to the one child policy. We silently chuckled as we listened to concerns about the “younger generation”, this from a 35-year-old.
Standing at nearly 11,000 feet in Zhongdian in the Yunnan Provence, we survey the courtyard where in the winter animals are brought from the hills. There is a barn on the ground floor where yak metabolism helps heat the rooms above. Our host for the evening, a 14-year-old girl with timid eyes, escorts us to the second floor, where we enter a large room with beautiful, wood corbels. A wood-burning cooking area with smoke escaping through the ceiling captures our attention while two bare light bulbs hang where we will eat. In the corner is 84-year-old great-grandmother.
Her eyes are anything but timid. Great-grandma motions Chuck to a low bench by the fire. When we sit down, she gestures with gnarled hands as she speaks. Our guide is missing, but it is okay as we smile and continues.
Dinner is accompanied by yak-butter tea and Baijiu, a Chinese homemade distilled liquor. Chuck shows our young hostess his camera, which breaks down what’s left of her reserve, and she laughs when seeing pictures of friends in the city. Our guide tells them Kathie dances ballet, so a trade is arranged. They will dance for us if Kathie hoofs for them.
And they dress us. With rough-skinned hands the women laughingly wrap and cinch us. Following more pictures, the women perform a line dance that shines with tradition. Kathie joins them while soft Tibetan words are sung. Dad stands to the side watching his family with amusement. Chuck catches the 8-year-old, with huge wide-open eyes and lips set in a firm line, as she stares hard at him through the barrel of his camera lens.
Later, we were told something unusual happened tonight. Our hosts never dress guests and great-grandma remains strictly in the background. There’s a message here: you deserve nothing – what you give can determine what you will receive.
When traveling you might find yourself in position to experience something special, but if you want it, you have to put yourself out there; you must be the one to build a platform that supports everybody to open themselves. You become something more than a tourist there to be fed and watch the “native show”, which raises the level of how meaningful the moment can be.
Whether it is a Tibetan night of extending hands of friendship – or listening to a proud father in a hutong home tell you about his successful son living in Houston – or days of cultural immersion– if you want to maximize the value of what you paid to get and be there, you must go beyond seeing what is around you. You must jump in. And, as you say goodbye you too can hear, “I’m very western. We can hug.”
By Charles Neuenschwander, Blackhawk Resident